Possessing a vagina at University

So I complied a list of all the things which I have learned since being at uni and also having a vagina while I'm here. I live in a mixed flat, so there are 6 boys and 6 girls, which means I have got to meet some people who really don't share the same views as me (also known as the wrong views but I'll put that to bed early on so it doesn't interrupt everything else) as well as some people who should share the same views as me but don't (dumb bitches).

1: TAMPONS AND PERIODS

Girls get periods. Fact. This fact doesn't seem to register with some people as every month there are cries from the male housemates about how disgusting tampons in the bin are. Yeah we put our used tampons in the bin, we wrap them up and stuff them down in there so you will shut up even though we should not be ashamed of our basic bodily functions. We don't just leave them lying around, and we also don't flush them because that shit blocks the goddamn toilet and also a plastic applicator will not flush just float which is an unnecessary surprise for whoever uses the toilet next. Also, sometimes I like to use pads. I just like to chill out and appreciate the fact that if I cough and a bit of wee comes out that it won't be able to be seen through my jeans. Don't act like it's a full on adult nappy and I am disgusting for catching the blood outside my body as opposed to sucking it up from the inside.

As well as this, constant cries of whether our periods are in sync often come from the male side of the camp. Well actually we are all on the pill so no soz we aren't all together so you can get all the period-ness of 6 girls out of the way in one convenient week.

2: EATING DISORDERS AND BODY IMAGE

 I 'used to' have an eating disorder. I say used to because that is the easiest way to explain that it used to be really bad and I still have it mildly but it is just more in my control now, I will truly never be recovered in my opinion. (That was really crudely explained but I just want to get on with the point OK STOP JUDGING ME). Since I came to uni I wanted a 'fresh start' and an attempt to not be so crazy about how I looked, control issues etc. But just as I thought life could not shit on me anymore, I live in a house where every member has weight issues. Daily weigh ins are a regular occurrence. People always talk about diets and the way they look. Everyone comments on the way the other house members look. And you know what I learnt from that; Everyone is a fucking psycho about the way they look. But I'm not going to be. I have a tiny mirror to do my make up in, and have no way of seeing my full body. I feel free. It's not easy, god no, but it made me realise how these people think about their image so much that they forfeit their happiness in other areas. I don't want to do that anymore really. Wow that shit got sad fast, move on to the next point I think.

3: CLUBS AND ALCOHOL

As a girl, you will go to clubs and men will touch your bodies like they just bought you from a pet store. What you should do to these people is talk to them about politics for half an hour, drink their drink (not one they've bought you, just the drink they are drinking) and if they try and kiss you just lick them all over the face. All over it. Or you could just sit them down and tell them about rape culture and how you don't find it a fucking compliment to be treated like a cuddly toy in a grab machine.

4: SEX

You're going to get lots of it (consensual of course).

5:STEREOTYPICAL GENDER ROLES

The males in my flat act as if we are their mothers and this in turn means we have to wipe their balls 24/7. Well no, in fact honey it means do your own shit and if you're expecting me to tidy up after you because I'm a woman then you are sorely mistaken. 'Lad culture' very much applies to these males, playing fifa and making domestic violence jokes like no one was ever really hurt by it. Just a tip to men; telling a girl to make you a sandwich isn't fucking cute. If you do get a sandwich from her then she has probably spat in it, or scooped this mornings cum load out of her vagina and spread it on like mayonnaise. You kinda deserve it, you sexist bastard.

Bloody sex

As a female human, roughly once a month I like to bleed from my uterus. I love it in fact, because every month is a beautiful reminder that I don't have to go to the doctor screaming hysterically to 'get this thing out of me' before the fateful 26 week time frame. What I don't love however, is the general ickiness of my period. I have been having a period for like 6 years roughly, and every month is still met with urgh gross ew blood ahh tampon. I don't know if this is due to the fact I am grossly immature, or simply because seeing brown-red clumpy blood dripping from your vagina is horrifying.

Coupled with this however, is the 'issue' of sex on your period. As a highly sexual person (borderline nymphomaniac) I don't really like having to take a week out of every month in which all I do is eat chocolate and cry at the notebook (because I'm a woman right haha thanks guys). I prefer to just get on with it. Theres nothing much different between period sex and non-period sex, apart from you probs have to do it on a towel and your partner might freak out a bit at the fact his penis is covered in your uterine lining. But if he is a consenting adult who is responsible and actually like a bit mature, he won't mind that much. And if he does then maybe you should sit him down and have a strong word because it's your body and a bit of blood doesn't stop a woman from having needs goddammit. 

 I once read somewhere that your orgasms go in opposite waves when you're on your period, but to be honest I've never really noticed much difference. Frankly though, when I orgasm I probably wouldn't notice if North Korea had launched missiles and the entire room started to buzz with radioactive energy. One thing I have noticed however is after sex on my period I get the most awful cramps in the world. Like horrible. Like half an hour after sex I'm curled up in a ball asking my lover to make me a hot water bottle (which they always do because I like to choose guys who are considerate to other humans feelings). 

Another thing is the infamous 'if the river runs red, take the dirt track instead' phrase. Well let me tell you, if you wanna take it up the butt you're going to have to think of a better reason than a bleeding vagina. This is how I imagine the situation is met by most people:
Girl: I'm on my period so not tonight
Boy: But I wanna have sex, can I put it in your butt?
Girl: Well yeah actually thats a good idea I never thought of that
And up the pooper it goes. Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with anal sex. Like seriously, no qualms. But you just gotta do it because you want to, not because your partner can't bear a bit of blood and because you are embarrassed of your own bodies functions. 

So go foward and fuck on your period if you want to. If you're comfortable and horny, why the fuck not?